I think I once read in ACIM that “worry is not love” and that stuck with me because I want to love my children and not create bad energy for them which I believe worrying does. Of course we all worry but the more you practice and trust that we are not running this show the better you feel.
Thank you, David, for another excellent article. Hope Hank will soon send good news home so you can be free from worry.
I agree that instead of dwelling on worry, it’s better to focus our energy on preparing for what is likely to happen.
Sharing a helpful quote from the Dalai Lama https://quotes.lifehack.org/quotes/dalai_lama_75723 “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it*, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever."
A therapist once told me that worrying contains a bit of superstition. ‘If I worry, then it (the dreaded thing) won’t happen.’ That unwittingly keeps one justified in their worry. In fact, it can become distorted to the point that the mom or dad, or whoever believes they’re the ones preventing the dreaded thing from happening because they’re doing the necessary worrying.
Yes but you don't tell us how to stop worrying. We agree and commit to not worrying but what do you do when you involuntarily wake up in the middle of the night with a rapid heartbeat worrying. The subconscious conflicts with your commited decision to dismiss worry.
I hear you, Mary. And as I wrote, overcoming worry is hard. The article was mainly about getting people to realize that worry isn’t healthy or necessary, both for the worrier and the worryee.
I agree with Sheri that it takes a lot of work and practice to curb our worrying.
The short answer on the ‘how’ is that worrying comes from fear and fear is driven by the ego. So chipping away at the ego, little by little, every day, is the long-term answer to how to stop worrying. It really is the most important work we can do.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me David. I am a big fan of the many articles of yours I have read in the past and appreciate your efforts to help people.
Stopping worry (or at least reducing it) is a skill and you have to practice it like everything else. The best I can say is become aware and “watch” your worry thoughts and then do some simple breathwork like box breathing or counting. Of course if middle of the night always the worst so I usually put on Eckhart on YouTube to lull me back to sleep or a guided meditation. So hard! Give yourself grace 🙏🏻♥️
Your kind, insightful and very helpful message made me cry. That you would make the effort and take the time to help a stranger is more moving and inspirational than you could imagine.
I will take all of your advice wholeheartedly. AND The next time I look for a positive image or good think to focus on I will focus on your act of empathy.
Dave! This is such a great piece. I loved the quotes. My favorite was always: Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. Yet I continued in Olympic-style training for a gold in worry. It got old. Agree - it’s certainly not helpful and definitely not necessary. For me, realizing I don’t control a lot in life helps counter the worry. I take care of what I can and try to shrug off the rest. try … work in progress …
You’ve got your work cut out for you, my friend!! In other news, I’ve told myself “just relax!” many times in the past few weeks since your post. So I can be taught!
I think I once read in ACIM that “worry is not love” and that stuck with me because I want to love my children and not create bad energy for them which I believe worrying does. Of course we all worry but the more you practice and trust that we are not running this show the better you feel.
Thank you, David, for another excellent article. Hope Hank will soon send good news home so you can be free from worry.
I agree that instead of dwelling on worry, it’s better to focus our energy on preparing for what is likely to happen.
Sharing a helpful quote from the Dalai Lama https://quotes.lifehack.org/quotes/dalai_lama_75723 “If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it*, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever."
* I would like to add "do it"
Great ideas, Pham. And love that Dalai Lama quote! Thanks.
A therapist once told me that worrying contains a bit of superstition. ‘If I worry, then it (the dreaded thing) won’t happen.’ That unwittingly keeps one justified in their worry. In fact, it can become distorted to the point that the mom or dad, or whoever believes they’re the ones preventing the dreaded thing from happening because they’re doing the necessary worrying.
Otherwise I love and agree with everything you write.
Yes but you don't tell us how to stop worrying. We agree and commit to not worrying but what do you do when you involuntarily wake up in the middle of the night with a rapid heartbeat worrying. The subconscious conflicts with your commited decision to dismiss worry.
I hear you, Mary. And as I wrote, overcoming worry is hard. The article was mainly about getting people to realize that worry isn’t healthy or necessary, both for the worrier and the worryee.
I agree with Sheri that it takes a lot of work and practice to curb our worrying.
The short answer on the ‘how’ is that worrying comes from fear and fear is driven by the ego. So chipping away at the ego, little by little, every day, is the long-term answer to how to stop worrying. It really is the most important work we can do.
Thank you for taking the time to respond to me David. I am a big fan of the many articles of yours I have read in the past and appreciate your efforts to help people.
Stopping worry (or at least reducing it) is a skill and you have to practice it like everything else. The best I can say is become aware and “watch” your worry thoughts and then do some simple breathwork like box breathing or counting. Of course if middle of the night always the worst so I usually put on Eckhart on YouTube to lull me back to sleep or a guided meditation. So hard! Give yourself grace 🙏🏻♥️
Great ideas here, Sheri. Thanks for taking the time.
Dearest Sheri,
Your kind, insightful and very helpful message made me cry. That you would make the effort and take the time to help a stranger is more moving and inspirational than you could imagine.
I will take all of your advice wholeheartedly. AND The next time I look for a positive image or good think to focus on I will focus on your act of empathy.
Wishing you every good thing always.
Mary
Dave! This is such a great piece. I loved the quotes. My favorite was always: Worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere. Yet I continued in Olympic-style training for a gold in worry. It got old. Agree - it’s certainly not helpful and definitely not necessary. For me, realizing I don’t control a lot in life helps counter the worry. I take care of what I can and try to shrug off the rest. try … work in progress …
My goal is to get you from Gold Medal worrier to someone who doesn’t even make the Olympic team!!!
You’ve got your work cut out for you, my friend!! In other news, I’ve told myself “just relax!” many times in the past few weeks since your post. So I can be taught!
Great! Keep it up on the relax thing. So helpful.