21 Comments
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Mary Ingram's avatar

Great story that I can relate to! David you are in for some of the greatest moments. As my three children have grown and left the nest, they have shown their true colors. I have found so much joy in watching them fly! Get ready for those exciting times!

David Gerken's avatar

Thanks, Mary. I’m going to do my best!

Analog Notes by April's avatar

This is so beautiful and I love how you demonstrated impermanence throughout the whole article. You made it practical.

I've been deepening my spiritual practice for years now. Glad I found your blog!💛

David Gerken's avatar

Glad to have you! Thanks.

Matthias Mohnfeld's avatar

Impermance remind us, how precious every moment is. Without impermanence, even the best moments if our lives, become a normal, boring commidity. Enjoy your Nest. Greetings from Germany

David Gerken's avatar

Dankeschon Matthias.

Pham HO's avatar

Best wishes to Hank as he begins his college journey and the future ahead.

Thank you, David, for sharing your feelings about Hank “the first chick leaving your nest” and your reflections on impermanence and acceptance.

Like you, Shelly, and Mary, we also have three adult children, and in addition to impermanence and acceptance, gratitude is a big practice our family. Our two sons and our youngest godsend daughter went to the best university in our state, close to home, so they lived with us throughout their studies. In time, they moved out to their own homes nearby. Our younger son and daughter now have families of their own, and we feel blessed with three grandchildren.

We continue our Phamily lunch/early dinner most Saturdays, a simple tradition that keeps us close and fills our home with joy. We look forward to celebrating our youngest grandson's second birthday with extended family tomorrow.

David Gerken's avatar

What a great Phamily you have! I hope to have the same when mine grow into adulthood.

Pham HO's avatar

Thank you, David. My heart is full of gratitude after seeing our extended family come together to celebrate our grandson’s 2nd birthday today.

It's sad to hear another story of family separation.

On the way home from the party, I asked our eldest son how his catch‑up two days ago went with his high school friend from 1994-1999 (they are both 44 now). After graduating from university here in Melbourne, his friend returned to Hong Kong to work, where his parents live, and later married there.

For the children’s education, his wife and their three children have been living here in Melbourne, he flies over every school holiday to be with them. He shared with our son that he no longer enjoys his work and finds it increasingly difficult to divide his time between supporting his aging parents in Hong Kong and being present for his own family here in Melbourne.

🙏

Jayne Gumpel's avatar

This is heart warming heart felt and a beautiful testimonial AND you are a kick ass lovely thoughtful kind dad! Your son is blessed!

David Gerken's avatar

Thank you, Jayne!

Dr Mehmet Yildiz's avatar

This story was deeply relatable to me as the parent of grown-up children, a long-time meditation practitioner, and someone who has spent decades studying the brain and mind. Learning to navigate the departure of our loved ones can be one of life's greatest emotional challenges. As you so thoughtfully explain, contemplative wisdom can gradually help us accept impermanence with greater peace, perspective, and self-compassion. Thank you, David, for sharing your personal story so beautifully and for illuminating the true meaning of impermanence with such clarity, authenticity, and grace. I hope this educational, heartfelt, and inspiring story reaches the broad audience it deserves. Best wishes.

David Gerken's avatar

Thank you, Mehmet! Great hearing from you. Hope all is well with you.

Dr Marc B Cooper's avatar

Impermanence, when appreciated, reminds us we're human. And, it challenges us to let go. And the older you get, the more letting go is required.

Shelly Miller Leer's avatar

Oh man!!!! Do I ever understand. I get it all now better than I did when I bid adieu to each of my 3 kids at colleges far far away. I specifically remember having to walk away from my son John, at Georgetown, and to just keep walking because I was sobbing so hard and I knew how ready he was for it. (He stayed and works in DC 😳) Your story of Hank reminds me of my boys. Not so much my daughter. She’s the oldest and we were both ready for the distance. It’s not about them going to college, it’s about a really meaningful phase of life changing. But those of us seeking the benefits of ungrasping, begin to trust that each succeeding phase can be just as wonderful.

I loved this reminder of how healthy it is to let go. But nobody said it’s easy.

David Gerken's avatar

So beautifully said, as is usual for you, Shelly. Thanks!

Jackie M. Stebbins's avatar

This is such a beautiful piece! I felt all the feels. About rockstar Hank, who’s quick witted and off to an awesome place in U Dub, about the loss of parents, and the impermanence of life, big kahuna and trivial stuff. The Times, they’re always Changin.

Sheri Schack's avatar

Aww David so so sweet and sad and beautiful. My last birdie flew last year (and now 2 in Florida and I’m up here in Philly) so I totally get it. Yes hang in there and let those tears flow. What a lucky guy to have a dad like you. Take good care 💙

David Gerken's avatar

Thanks Sheri! Appreciate the support.

Marge Farrington's avatar

I know the pain of children leaving home. We raised 3 daughters and now have 7 grandchildren. At 68, we are familiar with impermanence.

I don't fight the sadness, I feel it. Acknowledging it is the first step to accepting what is happening.

Life is constant change.

Beautiful Story. Thank you for sharing!

David Gerken's avatar

Thanks, Marge. Love that. Especially "I don't fight the sadness, I feel it. Acknowledging it is the first step to accepting what is happening." Great stuff!