Abandoning Yourself to the Needs of Others Doesn’t Do Anybody Any Good
If that’s you, I have a major win-win proposition for you.
I think it’s safe to say that most people who lean toward the spiritual are on the upper end of the sensitivity scale. Why?
Try this on for size. Sensitivity often leads to emotional pain which leads to suffering which leads to seeking relief from suffering which leads to looking to the spiritual for answers.
Yes? No? Maybe?
Good sensitivity
Healthy sensitivity is great. It allows us to go deeper in relationships, romantic and otherwise, and experience a richer life than, as Paul Simon famously sang, a rock that feels no pain, and an island that never cries.
Then of course there’s unhealthy sensitivity. That’s the kind where our emotions run us…often into the ground.
One way this unhealthy sensitivity manifests can be expressed in a phrase all of you are familiar with: People pleaser.
You know any of those? Might you be one?
These are people who go out of their way to make sure everybody is doing okay. How so?
- A guy asks you out on a date and suggests the hot new steakhouse in town. You tell him that sounds great…even though you’re a vegetarian.
- You have a cocktail party at your house and dart all over the place, sick to your stomach thinking that somebody may not be having the time of their life.
- You bite your tongue, yet again, at the latest lousy remark lobbed your way by your mother-in-law, knowing that creating a fuss might upset your spouse.
These are all examples of the people pleaser in action.
Self-abandonment
And what can we call this behavior? Abandoning oneself.
